Just a few more days and I'll be back in school. I just wish that we can see each other more this coming school year even though it seems like next to impossible. I've been acting strange lately and it's really pissing me off. I just don't know where to start with my life anymore. Everything just seems like a routine and you know what to expect. I wake up at around 2 in the afternoon to take my lunch and then I'll take a bath and then after that I'm off with some friends wasting my life and I'll be home really late and I'm back to sleep. The next day, I'm still doing the same shit that I've been doing since my summer vacation started.

Every night, I've been dreaming of the day that we'll see each other again. Tell stories, eat together, hang out together, talk on the phone all night. When we are together, I just feel like we are in our own world not caring about what the people might think of us. It has been rather strange for the past couple of days. I've been missing you like hell and I'll do anything to spend my time with you. I wouldn't miss you for anything else.

Do you know what really sucks? It sucks having you around even though I know that I can't have you and the fact that you have my heart.

Life is a big paradox. It has been always said that you can't have the person you like. But I don't really like you...

I NEED YOU

 AND

I LOVE YOU

The only problem is that you don't  need me nor do you like me nor do you love me. Maybe you do love me, but you love me in another kind of way. Perhaps you just love me as a friend.

It sucks being friends.

Oh well, it's the least that I have and what I can do for you.

To protect you at all times and to be there for you no matter what.

Now this is what I call unconditional.

I just don't know how long I can take this.

Yesterday was so fun. For the past few days, I've been really emotional and quite unsure about myself. The day started with me really pissed off. Some group of wanna be gangsters bump into me and didn't even asked for apology. They even threatened me, hahaha...can you believe that? The nerve of some people. Anyway back to my story, I was going to Thomas Morato, to meet my friends in Nico's place. They were calling me and stuff asking me where I am exactly. I even asked them to wait for me but to no avail. And there I was walking alone along Thomas Morato to get to Kalye Juan, our favorite resto in Thomas. I was shocked to find only 3 of my friends: Malia, Jill and Sara. They told me that Nico was gonna fetch us after we eat our lunch. After eating, Nico came by and told us tha we have to wait while he goes off to fetch Cuyeg. Malia and I were left alone because I was really craving for another round of yosi break. Jill and Sara came with Nico and after a few minutes Nico came back with Cuyeg and we were off to his house. I was still looking for the others and as we approached the door of his room, they suddenly burst out and greeted me and Cuyeg a "happy birthday!". Boy they really got me this time, even though it was a really late greeting, I was happy.

These people, my barkada, my very special group of friends, The BonoSoc namely Nico, Cor,  Lau, Jino, Ale, Malia, Jill, Sara, Jaja, Kim and Jackie worked out this grandplan for me and Cuyeg. These people mean a lot to me. I met this guys only a year ago and I feel like they are my brothers and sisters. These great men and women are one of the best people in world. Everyday I thank the greater powers that they put me in Lasalle. Thank God I'm in LaSalle. I wouldn't have met this people if I was in another school.

Come to think of it, I really needed that one. After days of endless depressions, it was like the first time I really felt that someone really cares for me. Sometimes I just really feel like giving up on myself. I really don't know what to do when everything that I have hoped for ends up to be nothing but broken dreams. They gave me another reason to fight this struggle of mine. Knowing that someone has not yet given up on you makes you feel that you need to finish the fight.

Words are not enough to describe the bliss that I'm feeling right now. Hands down to you BonoSoc.

I just realized that I'm wasting my life sulking over you. I really don't think that you give a damn about me?

So why the hell should I give a damn about you?

I don't know?

Maybe because you're inside my heart and you won't go away.

The thing is I'm so confused. I don't know where to go.

I don't know where to run.

I don't know where to hide.

I still haven't answer my question...

Why the hell should I give a damn about you?

It's simple.

I love you.

That's all.

 I hate Dallas.

It sucks that my teams lost their own respective playoff battles. Nevertheless, they played a great season. In case you didn't know, I'm a hardcore basketball fan and when I watch a playoff game, my emotions get the best of me. I dedicate this entry for the Cleveland Cavaliers and the defending champions, San Antonio Spurs who just lost their respective battles lately which lead to the early playoff exit of both teams.

Tim Duncan and his San Antonio Spurs was recently eliminated a while ago. I've been a Spurs fan eversince Duncan arrived in this franchise and even though there's nothing exciting about his game, he delivers when really needed. Nothing flashy, just pure hustle. Hands down to the defending champs. A great season for the Spurs. Duncan will always be my hero.

Ahhh. Lebron James...what can I say about this kid? They say that he plays like "His Airness" Michael Jordan but I say he has flashes of Magic Johnson and Jordan's game. With his accurate passes, the will to grab the boards and the ability to penetrate the lane at will because of his superior physique and with this he led the Cleveland Cavaliers to yet again another playoff birth. He broke a lot of "youngest ever" records this year like being the youngest player to ever win the Allstar MVP and the first and youngest player to make a triple double in his playoff debut against the Washington Wizards. He made it to the NBA first team this year, he was a former number 1 pick all the way from highschool, his only 21 years old yet he plays like a pro BUT he is not yet in his prime. What is so scary about this kid is that he averages 31ppg 7rpg and 7apg, almost a triple double. That is why when he lost the MVP race to Steve Nash, I felt that he was robbed of the title. No offense to Nash fans but I really do believe that this year should've been his because HE is the heart and soul of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Cleveland Ohio is a city of heartbreak when it comes to sports. If you take a look back in Michael Jordan's playoff debut, his Chicago Bulls eliminated the city of Cleveland. It is so unfortunate that Cleveland doesn't have good sports teams until TODAY. Thanks to the King, he is settling all debts and the city of Cleveland is just happy because they have a hero to fight for them. All hail the KING!

Mark my words, the San Antonio Spurs and the Cleveland Cavaliers will be back with vengence next year.

Here I go again with my hopeless romantic post. I don't care what others might think of me and this is my blog so I have the right to write down all my emotions here.

Putang ina...masakit pala kapag nasa ganitong sitwasyon ako. Wala akng magawa. Hindi ko maligtas ang aking sarili. May kakayanan ako para piliin ang mga bagay na makapagpapadali ng aking buhay ngunit hindi ko pinili ang mga iyon kung di pinili kong masaktan sa iyong piling. Ayos lang, wala akong reklamo, kinakaya ko kasi dito ako masaya sa piling mo.

Pero tao lang din naman ako. Marunong mapagod, marunong sumuko. Pinipilit kong kayanin ang lahat. Pinapatunayan ko sa lahat na kaya ko pa at kakayanin ko pa.

Maraming nagsasabi na mag-move on na raw ako. Pero kung ako tatanungin nyo, mas pipiliin ko pang mamatay. Nahanap ko na ang aking silbi na sa mundong ito at iyon ay ang mahalin ka, alagaan ka at protektahan ka.

"Oh bakit ba pag wala ka na ako'y kulang?

AKO'Y KULANG?"

           -Bakit Part 2 by Mayonnaise